“Adversity introduces a man to himself.” — Einstein

This is the first year I have not written on the anniversary of the accident. We were busy that day, and I wasn’t sure I had much left to say. The last few days I have been thinking though. I have been contemplating the passage of time, and the lives lived within the moments that make up our lives.

When I was 26, I moved to Taipei, Taiwan to teach English. I had recently finished my undergrad and as a poor student who simply wanted to travel this seemed like the logical next step for me. I originally thought I would travel with a friend, but life had decided this was no to be, so I booked a one-way ticket, having decided my only option was to embark on this journey solo. Though I was nervous to go on my own, I was not ready to give up on my dream of living somewhere other than Canada.

I arrived at the airport with the name of the hostel I planned to stay at while I looked for a teaching job, and not much more. I did not speak the language, and I knew very little about the city I would soon call home. I had a couple of connections, people I had not yet met, and the faith that if I put my mind to it, I could make my way in a world I did not yet know how to navigate.

The first week, I ate only at McDonalds, unsure of how to order or where to eat. I walked the streets around the hostel, slowly expanding my route. I asked questions and sought out connections in a world I did not yet understand how to survive in. The city seemed overwhelming to me, and for the first few weeks, I was unsure if I was going to make it. Every part of my body missed the people and the home I had left behind, and I often wondered what I had gotten myself into.

Now, though this story may not seem relevant to what this family went through nine years ago, those first few weeks in Taiwan changed me in ways I cannot adequately explain. They showed me how to persevere, how to be brave and that I was stronger than I knew.

I have a vivid memory of sitting on a corner waiting for a new acquaintance to pick me up for a beach day with other strangers. In that moment, I felt so alone, so out of place, so inadequate and so overwhelmed, and because of this I sent a request out into the universe. As I looked at the numerous unfamiliar buildings surrounding me, I asked that I be made strong enough to endure until the world of Taipei became familiar to me.

Days passed, and before I knew it, I had friends and a job, and the city that once seemed so scary began to feel like home. In the end, I lived in Taiwan for 3.5 years, and I will always cherish my time there. I grew up in many ways, and I learned that when push comes to shove, I can survive. It was not always easy, but I did it, and from this I learned that though the world we live in may not always feel comfortable or familiar, with the passage of time we become a part of it. We understand it, and we are able to navigate within in.

After the accident, the world felt much like it did that day on the Taipei sidewalk. It was so unfamiliar to me that I did not know if I could survive it. There were moments, much like in Taipei when I questioned whether I would. I thought about giving up some days. I questioned whether I was strong enough to continue. I sometimes believed I would never get my bearings, and that the fateful July day in 2013 would break me. Break us. But then I remembered that sidewalk in Taiwan, and I told myself to hold on. Again hoping that with the passage of time, I would learn how to survive in a world I did not yet understand.

As I look back on the last nine years, I contemplate the idea that time heals everything, knowing that though this is not quite true, time does in fact play a role in our healing. I have learned how to live in a world that was once so unfamiliar that I did not think it possible that I would one day find myself here. No longer afraid that I am not strong enough or smart enough or together enough to make it these nine years. Finally understanding that this is not the point. Life is also found in the moments that make up the tough times, and with the passage of time we learn what those precious moments are.

Nine years later, Chris and I are somehow still here. We still exist. We have made it over the highest mountains and through the deepest valleys, aware that there are likely to be many more obstacles ahead of us. Over the years we have grown up in ways we didn’t know we could, our relationship evolving to become something it may not have had the accident never happened. I would not wish this journey on anyone, but through it we have become a couple of seasoned travellers travelling the pathways of life together. We are now less naive with a knowing that when things feel scary and overwhelming, sometimes the only choice available to us is to get up each morning. Understanding that if we just keep moving forward, we might not only get through it, we might also learn how to thrive within it.