“But still, like dust, I rise.” — Maya Angelou

Writing this blog is hard lately. The accident still affects us, but in a very different way. There is a part of me that does not want to think about it anymore. Though there are daily reminders all around me. The life we now lead has grown more comfortable. The feelings I have aren’t quite as strong. They are less visceral. Less frightening. Less confronting. But I can still easily conjure up the time around the accident. The years that followed. The memories are still close by but I no longer think about them on a regular basis. Writing this blog brings them back. It brings it all back, and as I feel us moving forward, remembering the hard days is the last thing I want to do.

Upon refection, though, I should probably not stop telling our story here. Writing this blog, now, perhaps is more important than ever. Because it shows it is possible. We are proof. There is a place on the other side of trauma. There is an end to that road. Or, at the very least, a very sharp turn. So, when we look back, we no longer see the wasteland created by trauma. Instead, we look forward. Finally realizing trauma will not walk with us forever. Hope. Acceptance. Courage. They tell trauma to follow a different path. To leave us alone. Because we are no longer stuck in its grasp. We have escaped its hold. So, one day we look around, and see it  has finally left our side.

In the early days following the accident. And by early days, I mean the first few years. I wish I had someone to tell me. Someone to tell me without a hint of doubt in their voice. Without a look of hidden fear on their face. I so needed someone to tell me. To take ahold of my hand, and to look me straight in the eyes, and say with conviction,

“You are going to be alright. What you are going through is normal. What you are feeling is normal. It is normal to feel scared. It is normal to feel angry. It is normal to feel more alone than you have ever felt. It is normal to feel like you cannot make it through. It is normal to feel abandoned. It is normal to have panic attacks. It is normal to question everything. It is normal to feel like you don’t recognize the world around you. The people around you. It is normal to feel like you are losing your mind. That is all normal. But it is going to be okay. I promise you, if you just keep moving forward. If you just make it through one day at a time. I promise you, it will get easier. You will get stronger. The fear, it will lessen. The trauma, it will soften. There will be a day when you are able to look back on it, and know that you have survived. Because what you are experiencing is normal. How you are feeling is normal. You, are normal. Do not let the people who do not understand what you are going through dictate how you see yourself. Every single day you make it through shows your strength. Every single mountain you climb shows your determination. Every time you look fear in the face shows your bravery. Keep moving forward. You will survive.

So, if you are struggling today. If you feel you will not make it. If you feel you cannot walk through one more day. If you are having a hard time looking in the mirror because we have been taught there should be shame in trauma. If you are surviving what feels unsurvivable, I say this to you.

What you are feeling is normal. It is normal when dealing with trauma to feel like you are losing your mind. It is normal to feel like the world has shifted and there is no solid ground upon which to place your feet. Feeling anxious is normal. Feeling angry is normal. Feeling disappointed in those we love is normal. Feeling weak is normal. Feeling scared is normal. Feeling alone is normal. Feeling devastated is normal. Feeling broken is normal. All of those horrible and scary feelings that run through your head. That run through your body. Those feelings are normal. You are going to be okay. One foot in front of the other is sometimes the only thing you have going for you. So, just keep moving forward. Take it a day at a time. Thinking ahead will feel overwhelming. One day. One step. Seek out any support you can. Most of it will fall through. Keep reaching. Even if they are few and far between, there are good people out there. Any support is good support. But most of all don’t give up on yourself. Do not feel shame for surviving what people fear most in this world. Experiencing a trauma changes everything. Do not listen to those who do not understand. Seek out those who do. Keep moving forward until you have outpaced it. But always remember, you are a normal person. You are a normal person living in the shadow of trauma. You are normal. And you are going to survive this. You are going to be okay. One day, you too will look back and realize you are stronger than you ever thought you could be. You are a survivor. A warrior. And you will wear your scars proudly. Because they show the beauty of someone who has faced trauma and lived to tell your story.