“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing the monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” — C.S. Lewis

Tomorrow is three years since the accident. July 5th. A day that will always hold significance in our lives. To this family. I find myself looking forward more these days. I think this is a good thing. We are starting to try and make plans again. Real plans. Ones we think about. For a long time, I think we reacted. We did not know it at the time, but we were reacting over and over. Trying to find a way back to our normal. We did not realize this was not the point. Our pre-accident normal will not be again. Even when many days have passed, and the accident is but a distant memory. Our normal will never be the same. The accident has changed us.

We talk more about other things. About outside interests and finding paths that bring us joy and happiness. These feelings seem not as foreign now. It feels as though one day, we will feel the same as the majority of those who walk beside us. We won’t always think about the fragility of life. Of the dangers that surround us. Instead, we will focus on the things in this world that make us feel good. It has been a while since we have focused this way. For so long our sights have been set on survival. Surviving. Making it through the day.

We are still rebuilding. In so many ways. The accident hit our family hard. It has taken us so very long to adjust our sails to let the wind favour us. For so long we have fought against it. We were always looking back. Trying to get to the place we had made for ourselves before that fateful day. We have now adjusted, so it does not topple us over, but instead sends us in the direction of our dreams. We forgot about them for a while. We forgot we were dreamers. Music makers.

So, on this day. The night before our world changed so drastically and permanently, I look forward to better days. To days filled with laughter, and adventure and love. I do not want to just survive. We are no longer content with merely getting through our days. Let this year treat us better than those before it. May our struggles fall by the wayside, and the sunshine down upon us. Let us live the life of dreamers. Whatever those dreams may be. A home in the woods or an apartment in the city. Travel or being surrounded by friends and family. Dreams do not always have to be big, they just have to hold significance. Today, I dream of finding our place in the world again. Of feeling comfortable in the minutes that make up our days. Of finally finding solid ground upon which to stand.